If Only I Were There

It’s been three months since I came back to Malaysia. Ya, three months ago, I was there, back home, enjoyed the time that I spent together with my family and friends. I was also enjoying Indonesian food, watching Indonesian television, jogging to the nearby stadium every weekend. I miss to do those activities. Now, what am I feeling? It’s changed. It’s different, totally different. Currently, I’m in my room, but the same as my room back home. Alone, sitting in front of my laptop by staring at the pictures of my family, my friends, my foods, my homeland. Trying to recall back all those memories played inside my mind. Sometimes, I smile remembering of the happy moment that I had. But, most of the time I wipe off my tears that fall down whenever the homesickness appears, make me want to go back to that time. And I’m even willing to grab my suitcase, book the ticket, and fly back to my hometown, leave all my bustle of studying behind only to cure my pain by feeling homesick.

Feeling homesick

My parents : Ayah-Bunda

My sista : Icha-Riri

My extended family

My friends at : UI, Unila, BTA’s lover, SMANDA-PIRATES (Pasukan Intelek Ipa Tiga Smanda), SPANDA-AXEL I, SD : 6A-Kartika II-5

My home

My lovely room

My teddy bear

Indonesian traditional food : pempek, tekwan, model, somay, ketoprak, kue serabi, jus alpukat.

Depok

Lampung

Indonesia

My motherland

Missing all of them

If only I were there, I would be able to enjoy my mom’s cooking.

If only I were there, I would spend time together with my family.

If only I were there, I would be able to taste Indonesian traditional food.

If only I were there, I would see my friends and hang out together.

Ya, it’s true if only I were there.

Suddenly, I’m awake from my dream

and realizing that I’m not there right now.

It hurts my heart by missing those moments all the time.

It becomes worst day by day.

The more I try to heal it, the more I feel the pain.

The homesickness that I feel is becoming greater

time by time, day by day, month by month.

And I don’t know till when it’s gonna be cured.

However, apart from that, I can feel the sweetness within that.

It’s sweet because I have those moments as the memory

Sweet memory.

I’m really grateful for that.

Then, by realizing it, the homesickness that always wants to attack me,

slowly it lose its power because the sweetness heal my hurt though.

So right now, the condition is changed.

The more I feel homesick, the more I have power to get up

solely to show that I won’t be lost easily.

It gives me more energy for my soul.

Eventually, no more saying “If I were there”

nothing else except saying “I must be there coming back home with my success”

Success against the homesickness as the barrier to reach my goals.

-Kira-

Posted in: Not Just A Story